is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
