No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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