I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
