Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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