You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
