you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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