the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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