so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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