Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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