i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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