I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
