...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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