I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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