How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
