Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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