I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
