I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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