so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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