its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
where are my eyebrows?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
