I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
