Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize