halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My dad is sitting where you rode me
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
