I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
