I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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