she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
