She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
