she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
COCAINE IS GR8
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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