I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
