I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
