I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
