47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
