There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize