i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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