then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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