I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
