How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
