hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
