Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
