everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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