Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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