I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
