dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
