Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
