That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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