so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize
