She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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