Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
