i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
