What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize