You just made me feel so damn special
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
