i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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