It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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