WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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