id be glad to
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
the liver wants what the liver wants
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
This toilet bowl is my home.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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