if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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