So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
