Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
