Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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