did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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