PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
