its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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