Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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