Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
