i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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