I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
